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Sunday, June 26, 2022

Tania Llasera: “I wouldn’t lose weight because someone told me to. I’m a good communicator, they’re going to love me the same regardless of what I weigh” | Present

Tania Llasera is a great example of reinvention. In August 2020, after eleven years working with little rest, Mediaset dispensed with his services. Since that summer, the presenter has remained in the background on the small screen. Although the same cannot be said for her activity on her Instagram: more than 776,000 people are currently following her. Among other reasons, because of how he speaks, without filters or hints of idealization, about motherhood or the so-called body neutrality: a movement that –unlike body positive– encourages us to accept our body, even if we don’t always feel comfortable with it. . Her recent book, Woman had to be: For all those who are fed up with the pussy (published by Libros Cúpula) is no exception. In short, the communicator reviews her life, in particular, and that of all women, in general, who daily have to battle with an endless string of obstacles and social pressures. Eight years ago you were suggested to write this book. Why have you taken so long? So I didn’t think it was the right time to do it. Some time ago, when they proposed it to me, I thought I had nothing to say or contribute. Now, however, it seems that things are changing. Menstruation is finally being talked about, men are becoming more involved in other issues that have traditionally concerned us, and genders are more diluted. Sounds like the perfect time to get this book out. The incredible thing is that, in 2022, such a title is still necessary. What is happening? We think that we have changed and that we are super modern. But deep down, things haven’t changed that much or that fast. This book is for all of us who are fed up with it. We are literally the majority. And it is something global, it does not only happen in Spain. We have an increasingly deplorable burden and mental health because we try to encompass everything. They have sold us female empowerment as “I can handle everything”. And it is not like that. There’s nothing wrong with admitting it. We are not perfect; Neither are machines. This feeling of fullness does not understand ages. Without going any further, your mother also manifests it in those pages. It’s the rolling gag of being a woman. That is, the constant comedy that is in the drama of being a woman. From a young age they give you the cart and the cleaning toys are pink. And, as you get older, the more you have to say and the wiser you are, the more they silence you, the less they listen to you and you become invisible. We live a constant injustice. We’re home and we don’t stop working, it’s always an effort. In the end it becomes very tiring. What I want to show is that there is another way. Thank God, little by little we are uniting, helping and lifting each other up because, many times, the one who does the most disservice is one herself. Do we have to learn to stand up and say more ‘no’? Yes of course. In fact, it is already happening and symptoms are seen everywhere. It is obvious that we cannot handle everything, that mental health, especially that of the youngest, is getting worse. Something changes or we are headed for disaster. Female empowerment can actually be staying home and not working. Depending on who you are, and what your circumstances are, your empowerment can vary completely. Not reaching everything can create a feeling of frustration and resentment because you think you are doing things wrong, that you are trying to take on too much. As has been said throughout life, who covers a lot, squeezes little. Has your partner been surprised? He has been surprised. When she was passing the chapters to her, she would ask me: “But is this book necessary? Are you so up to the pussy? As he read it, he did tell me that, being a man, he did not realize many of the things that I explain here. They were invisible to him. I hate the word, but we live in a patriarchal society and no man has the problems that we suffer much more acutely. For him it was an eye opener to what it means to be a woman in Spain. Has it been a catharsis for you? Totally. It’s been a bit like throwing up all that being a woman is up to this point in my life. It has really been a book in which I have cried and in which I have opened up like never before. For me it marks a before and after. What episode of your life has cost you more to remember? The hardest and bravest thing has been being able to talk about my miscarriages. When it happened to me, on two occasions, I didn’t want to talk about it because it seemed so personal and private. But it is true that I think it can help many people to destigmatize what an abortion is. It is something that is not talked about. However, when you go through that, other women do dare to verbalize their own experience. That happened in 2014, just when I stopped smoking and, after gaining a few kilos, I was severely attacked. Everyone should be clear once and for all that you shouldn’t criticize or judge someone’s physique. Nobody knows what you are going through from a simple photo published in the press. Your father may have died, for example, or who knows. Let’s stop judging each other, physically and in all aspects if it can be. How did you manage that wave of harmful comments that, in 2014, were both on social networks and in some tabloids? I honestly don’t know how I did it. I felt strong because I had been going to therapy for a couple of years. I was aware that I had gained a healthy number of kilos because I had stopped smoking and because I wanted to get pregnant. Then, effectively, in the photos they took of me I was already pregnant and I didn’t even know it. And then I lost it… It was a very dark stage in my life, but I looked beautiful, healthy and comfortable with my body. Those who criticize you, especially the haters, are gray people. They obviously had no knowledge that they were criticizing me at such a low personal moment. For this reason, I want to emphasize what I have already said before: nobody knows what is happening to you behind closed doors, or in your heart. Be careful. I didn’t say anything because I was going to crash and it didn’t seem like the time. Now, eight years later and with two beautiful children, I can say it in a healthy and super worked way. Then I was not able to articulate a word because I would have started crying non-stop. Tanya Llasera. Between television, magazines and social networks, objectification is the order of the day. Do you have to have a very well furnished head to downplay it? It is impossible for absolutely everything to slip because, in addition, many times we are surrounded by toxic people in the proximity of a mother, a sister or a best friend. It is very difficult to fight objectification. It is so ingrained that many people do not see it, it is invisible, they do not notice it. Recently, at a barbecue to which I was invited, a girl commented that she had to keep the line because, being in fashion, nobody wants to work with ugly or fat women. Another, there present, she released that she barely ate during the week so as not to gain weight. Sorry? Why are women taught that our most powerful weapon is beauty, appearance? Why? Don’t we have a billion more attributes? Everything seems very binomial, very basic. In the book you narrate that a certain Amato, the head of a production company you worked for, told you that if you wanted to be on TV, you had to lose ten kilos. You did it. But, not happy with it, shortly after he suggested that you go through the operating room to get a rhinoplasty and increase your chest. It was many years ago. I am very proud because in the end I did not have any surgery. The very thing that set me apart was my short hair and small boobs. It was what made me special because the rest of my colleagues were having surgery. To this day, what I would not have done is take off those kilos because someone told me to. I am a good communicator, they will love me no matter how many kilos I have. Things like that keep happening. Girls, in particular, continue to be told to do this or that, as if we were moldable, in order to achieve success. I love the profile of my mother and the front of my father. I don’t want to be just another doll with a small nose. Likewise, you’ve never had a problem talking about the less friendly side of motherhood. Your point of gravity changes. I am no longer the same: I am a Tania version 3.0. with two people in my charge. It’s curious. I went to the Stretching Gum Podcast, we chatted about motherhood, and I walked out of there thinking I hadn’t said anything new. The surprise came when, days later, a number of mothers with strollers turned around, with tears in their eyes, to confess to me: “Thank you for telling the truth and talking about what no one talks about. You made us cry with the emotion of being understood, of being validated in our experience that not everything is rosy.” There is poop, diapers that explode, days of maximum loneliness and crying. In motherhood there are depressing moments, worries, fears, frustrations and insecurities on the loose. You don’t know if you’re doing it right. It’s very complicated. Especially since the kids gravitate towards you; not to the father. The lockdown was horrible. They were very young and I was in a flat in the center of Madrid doing the right thing. But, my mother, the one with tears that hit me in the storage room and even in front of them! I had no choice but to tell them: “Mom can’t take it anymore. Mom has hit.” In these pages you talk about the concept of post-maternity: that period in which children are no longer so young and, in a way, you become you again. Are you going through that right now? Yes I am. Post-maternity has come to me. There is a point where you dissolve into that cavernous cave of total demand and forget who you are, what you want and what you are capable of. Since the children are already semi-self-sufficient – ​​they know how to dress themselves, clean their teeth, run and walk – what they have to do is relocate. You are not the same again, but you do remember who you were, listen to yourself and take time for yourself. In May 2021 you decided not to show your children on Instagram anymore. What motivated that decision? We are in the same situation: motherhood is very difficult and, before us, no one has been a mother with social networks. It is a new problem that technologies bring. Is it right or not to teach them? The answer is as personal as motherhood itself. Each one does as best they can and with the best intentions. I honestly don’t know which is better. My husband would be horrified if I took them out. They are also his children, so I have to respect that he doesn’t want to. And besides, it looks good to me. Since we are new to this, I prefer to sin less than more. Are you the first surprised that so many people follow you on that same social network? Of course. I’ve been on Instagram for many years and I’m like a social media patient. My world, the world of communication, is always changing and you can’t sit back because you get lost. Yes, it is true that I never thought I would live on it. But I also tell you that I have felt very supported and I am lucky to arouse sympathy in general. I can not complain. On the contrary: he keeps me a lot of company and helps me with everything. It’s wonderful to be connected like this. It seems like a gift to me. During confinement he brought out the best in human beings. Do you miss appearing on TV? Of course I miss it. What I miss the most is having a team, leaving home to do something new every day. I love TV. It’s where I was born and I hope to die, honestly. Although I am in a moment of television drought, nothing happens. I tell myself: “Girl, if it has to be, it will be. And if not, well, she won’t be and that’s it.” At least I’m making a living. I have no reason to complain. Beyond bookstores and networks, can we see you somewhere else soon? The truth is that I don’t know. I have several things in the oven, some television that I hope will come out. And, in case not, I plan to set up a podcast to unleash my soliloquies. I would also love to do something with my mother, as bringing multiple generations together is interesting. The most imminent, yes, is a collaboration with the firm Bondesio. The collection includes pants, skirts and shirts from sizes 36 to 46. The cover of ‘Woman you had to be…’, the book by Tania Llasera. (Courtesy of Dome Books)

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