Much has been said about the damage porn movies do to our sexuality. Creates false expectations about the timing, size, intensity of orgasms…. But be careful, it’s not just porn movies that strike our collective imagination. Romantic movies, erotic novels, and even music videos contain sex scenes that are far removed from reality. Scenes in which everything flows, the rhythm is perfect, the protagonists are always upbeat and wanting more, and no one is doing their makeup or blowing up.
We all understand that fiction doesn’t always show everything real, but showing those mundane moments can help debunk myths and create visible issues that are important to move on. These are some examples:
apply some lubricant
Sex scenes are always fast-paced. They are about to turn, they kiss and about seconds later they are about to enter. In film and television this makes sense because screen time has to be focused. But it also has an effect: We tend to think that when a couple starts a relationship they are immediately excited. And it is not so. “Besides penetration is not the only exercise that exists, it is necessary to stimulate other parts of the body first, so that everything can flow better. And yet there are times that, even though other past sensual Exercises have been done, additional lubrication is required and this is completely normal. We have lubricants for that”, explains the sexologist and presenter + what sex Daphne Bastet. In fact, the lubricant is usually a vital piece on a bedside table or in a bag as a single dose, but this lack of visibility means that there are still people who believe that it should only be used in cases of vaginal dryness. goes. For example, during menopause. The reality is that there are a variety of lubricants for oral, anal, vaginal, with toys or with condoms, which can make sex more fluid.
putting on a condom
Another great absentee in fictional scenes is usually the condom. Above all, when adults and not youth or juveniles appear on the scene. That moment of leaning against the door, laying yourself on the table in the living room or on the kitchen counter, is enough to show how pants and underwear are down. But not seeing how they look for a condom, they unroll it, put it on carefully and already start intercourse. And since we never see that moment as sexy, we don’t know how to naturally handle it in real life. “The moment to go in for a condom or the moment to put it on can be an important moment for many reasons: to cut the roll, because you’re lying there/or in bed without knowing what to do or where to look, or because to get up and walk around the room naked, etc”, tells sexologist Ana García Day let’s take it easy. Thus, the expert proposes that this moment should be shown in films as an occasion for seduction and not as a cut from the roll. Something that can be easily solved visually such as a mischievous look or a sexy dance, without a close-up.
If action movies criticize “heroes” without being toppled from an explosion or burning building (until the arrival of Bruce Willis), in erotic scenes we have yet to dispel that myth. No one gets tickled, no one wears hair down, no makeup goes on and everyone wakes up wearing super seductive white shirts, we never know where it came from. This is why there are people who look in the mirror after a good sex session and perhaps feel a little more insecure because of the sight given to their lover. “In the middle of sex, it’s totally normal for your pants to sag, a fart (anus or vagina) escapes or you need to gather your hair into a ponytail so it doesn’t go into your mouth ( We all know this you can pass). Let’s stop living these acts of shame and enjoy them. Sometimes they are the fun moments that sex gives us and that helps create an atmosphere of trust with the other person. can help”, as a counterpoint Daphne Bassett points out. As Woody Allen said, “Sex is only dirty when done right.”
“Does that situation bother me today”
Sex shouldn’t hurt. But the reality is that our bodies don’t always react to the same kind of stimuli. The menstrual cycle can make the vagina or nipples more sensitive than on day one. And sometimes what makes you feel so good that day bothers you. But we’ll never see the protagonist in a movie saying: “Wait, what’s it that bothers me a little bit in this situation, shall we change?” Or maybe: “I don’t feel like squeezing my nipples today because I’m pre-menstrual.” Then, because we don’t naturally envision that dialogue, we may feel more self-conscious about expressing our needs in real life. “An penetration is not always pleasant: if we enter prematurely or too late, without lubrication, the sensations are very different. Let’s also clarify sexual positions: Not always and not all are comfortable. There are times when certain positions are difficult, annoying or impossible. It all has an easy solution: communication ”, summarizes Ana Garcia. If in films we see communication as something sexy, then groans intensely In addition to understanding everything, we will avoid many and sometimes very unpleasant misunderstandings.
Moments later and the importance of going to the bathroom
The couple begins to kiss, we see some shots of their naked skin in a dim light and after refocusing on their faces centered in the shadows, we go straight for the moment after. Hugs, in bed, happy and in love. And without needing to leave for a moment, clean yourself up and transfer yourself to the bathroom as soon as you finish. Something that is not only common, but actually totally recommended. “The most common thing is to clean up, go to a drink to gain strength, and go to the bathroom,” recalls Daphne Bassett. As the experts emphasize, “Going to urinate is very important to avoid infection especially for people with vulva.” However, post-administration urination helps eliminate potential bacteria and therefore prevents infections such as cystitis. Beyond romanticism, in sex, as in life, health always comes first.